Friday, April 1, 2016

My Writing Process Paragraph

      There are many reasons why I choose the pieces to show my improvement from the end of 6th grade. One reason is in my first piece my GUM wasn't the best because I didn't revise but on my second piece there was none because I revised. Another example is on my second piece the format was more clear because I had a better writing process. Lastly on my second piece my mom read over it for revisions which didn't happen one my first piece. In all I really think these two pieces show my improvement.

Thursday, March 31, 2016

My Analysis/Reasoning Paragraph

      I choose these pieces because I really think they showed how far I've gone from last year. For example in my first piece I just restated the the data I had said last sentence and I didn't say my one thinking. Then in my second piece I really showed my own thinking like saying a sentence put a chill down my back. Also I in my second piece I explained my evidence deeper and then said how that proved my point well in my first piece I didn't. In all these pieces definitely showed how I've improved. 

My Good Writing Process Piece

      Have you ever judged a person by how they look or stereotype someone? Do you know what that can do? Like the stereotypes greaser and soc, in the book The Outsiders written S.E. Hinton. One of main themes in this book is how bad and wrong stereotypes are. One example from the book that shows stereotypes are wrong and bad is in the conversation with Randy and Pony, and at the end Randy convinces Pony Socs are just guys too. This shows that stereotypes are bad because the whole time Pony though these Socs are bad people but on the inside they are the same as him. Another piece of evidence from the text showing stereotypes are bad is when Johnny gets beat up and Cherry says “All Socs aren't like that,”. This also shows how bad stereotypes are bad because Pony thinks all Socs are people who go around beating people up but really the aren't, just some are. The last piece of evidence I have to back up my thinking is the sunset conversation with Pony and Cherry when cherry asks Pony if he watches sunsets because she does too. This shows that stereotypes are wrong, because Greasers think Socs are just rich jerks, and Socs think Greasers are just poor, bad people when really they aren't they're the same and some of them even watch the same sunset. In all The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton really showed how awful and wrong stereotypes can be. This book showed me to never use stereotypes and to not judge people. 

My Bad Writing Process Piece

      One day Joe was sitting on a log. When a storm came a branch fell on his legs. He started screaming then an ambulance and took him to the hospital. When Joe woke up he looked at his legs and flipped out instead of flesh there was metal. Once Joe was out of the hospital he figured out that he had Race car wheels on his new metal legs. TEN YEARS LATER...Joe had his picture taken with Iron Man for being his super speedy servant helper. Sadly in a few years Iron Man found a new faster servant and Joe got sent away. Joe had got use to his legs eventually and stopped buying cars, he just used his wheels. The bad part about that is that he had to buy new wheels every now and then because they would get all beat up. At the age of 89 Joe sat around doing nothing because he couldn’t use his wheels they had rusted up. Eventually he died at 95. 

Wednesday, March 30, 2016

My Good Analysis/Reasoning Piece

    A story element that changes  Dave Eggers Scary Story is the setting and characters. An example is the quote “a lonely body of water carved millions of years ago by a passing glacier. The deep part of this particular lake was rumored to be about 300 feet.” This changed the story because the words “rumored to be about 300 feet deep.” put a chill down your back, and because it was made to be a scary story it definitely changed the whole thing. Another piece of evidence to prove the setting changes the story is when she started rowing but didn't move. This showed that characters changed the story because then she knew that there was a new character, a living animal under her boat stopping her from  moving. If this didn't happen then she could have rowed back to land and got away safely. One last reason is that the quote “The first was to lower one of the oars into the black water, trying to feel if there was some land mass, even some creature she could touch. As soon as the oar broke the water's surface, though, she felt a strong, silent tug at the other end, and the oar was pulled under.” This shows that characters changed the story because now the small chance that maybe her boat had gotten stuck on something was eliminated, and also the beast or monster under her boat was very capable of doing things. In all the story was changed in very scary ways by the setting and the characters in Dave Eggers Scary Story.  

My Bad Analysis/Reasoning Piece

      If we take out the jello and add maple syrup then the bubble will be bigger in diameter than the bubble with corn syrup. Our evidence is, the solution with the corn syrup had an average diameter of 9.53 centimeters while the bubble with maple syrup had an average of 12.83 centimeters for its diameter. Our claim was supported because the only variable we changed was replacing the corn syrup with maple syrup. Our data says that the maple syrup bubble was 12.83 centimeter in diameter when the corn syrup bubble diameter was only 9.53 centimeters, therefore the maple syrup is bigger in diameter.

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

My Evidence Paragraph

I choose these peices to show my progress in my evidence for many reasons. For example on my first peice I just listed my evidence from my experiment and didn't add anything. On my second peice I added some words and didn't list it raw. Also I used many quotes in my second peice. In all that is why I choose these peices.

My Good Evidence Piece

    The setting puts a scary or frightening impact on Dave Eggers story. The setting in this story puts a scary impact on it because Dave Egger used the phrase “Not after what happened to a girl name Francis Brandywine.” To me, this freaked me out a lot because I inferred that something bad or scary was going to happen, and it did. Another quote I found that made the setting scary was “They were in a remote part of the park, camped on the shore of one of the deeper lakes, a lonely body of water carved millions of years ago by a passing glacier. The deep part of this particular lake was rumored to be about 300 feet. This frightened me because Dave Egger decided to use the words “remote”, “lonely body of water” and “300 feet.”, which are very scary words or phrases. The last quote I found that frightened me was “The boat was found on shore the next day, empty but for the journal. On those pages were her frantic jottings, all written in her distinctive handwriting, all but the last page.” I found this quote very scary because the boat was empty (so she died) and when she was alive she was writing very fast, so she was scared or flustered which means there was something freaky. In all Dave Eggers aced it if he was trying to make the setting as scary and frightening as possible. 


Tuesday, January 12, 2016

My Bad Evidence Piece

      Have you ever wondered what the strongest bone in your body is and what it is shaped like? In my science class we did a lab to answer the question, “How do you build the strongest bone structure?”. We were aloud to have one piece of 8.5 by 11 inch paper and two inches of tape for each bone we made. Our bones had to be eight inches or longer because we were making long bones. So we couldn't really cut the paper if it was going the 8.5 inch way. According to my data the strongest bone most people made was going the 8.5 inch way, and was circular and was about ¾ inch wide. It turns out my hypothesis was kind of correct because the bones I made were wrapped around more than once, but they didn't hold that many books. Then Cole made one that was tightly wrapped and it held 38 books. In this experiment the place I most likely made a mistake was using only two inches of tape because I would just rip off a little that looked around two inches. Minus that mistake, I learned so much about bones and how to build them, even though I wasn’t Jaiming whose bone held so many books that it broke the whiteboard I still had a lot of fun. 

Thursday, January 7, 2016

My Voice Paragraph

      The pieces I choose definitely showed my improvement in voice. An example is on my first peice  I didn't use and writing techniques when I could have said something like "I could smell the fame, it smelt good like a fresh batch of waffles just coming off the iron." On my second peice I used a lot of  writing techniques and it sounded way better. An example is "my stomach had that nasty puking feeling." In all that is why I choose both of these peices to show my improvement.

My Bad Voice Peice

      Did you know Harrison is famous for being in One Direction. He joined because he thought he would be a great singer, and I know him!!!! He isn’t the best on stage but he is great at being my friend. One time he brought me on stage and I song Baby by Justin Bieber. It was awesome and Harrison’s was doing all these dance move and his pants ripped so he left and the stage was mine it was amazing. I stood there not knowing what to do, so I said a joke and everybody laughed at at me so, I said another and another until Harry comes back on stage and sings. I got off stage by falling backwards, the crowd caught me and carried me around. Then disaster struck, LeBron James shows up all the crowd drops me and run to him. So I lie on the cold hard ground!

My Good Voice Piece

      My nose was only smelling smoke, my eyes were watering and and my stomach had that nasty puking feeling. The mist was hovering over the water, the old rusty car just barely poking up over the lily pads and swaddling grass. The ruckus of the nuclear power plant just coming out of the fog. Lying there in the middle of the swap was a half submerged oil barrel. I wondered why people would do such a thing? What had happened to our pretty earth?