Wednesday, January 13, 2016

My Evidence Paragraph

I choose these peices to show my progress in my evidence for many reasons. For example on my first peice I just listed my evidence from my experiment and didn't add anything. On my second peice I added some words and didn't list it raw. Also I used many quotes in my second peice. In all that is why I choose these peices.

My Good Evidence Piece

    The setting puts a scary or frightening impact on Dave Eggers story. The setting in this story puts a scary impact on it because Dave Egger used the phrase “Not after what happened to a girl name Francis Brandywine.” To me, this freaked me out a lot because I inferred that something bad or scary was going to happen, and it did. Another quote I found that made the setting scary was “They were in a remote part of the park, camped on the shore of one of the deeper lakes, a lonely body of water carved millions of years ago by a passing glacier. The deep part of this particular lake was rumored to be about 300 feet. This frightened me because Dave Egger decided to use the words “remote”, “lonely body of water” and “300 feet.”, which are very scary words or phrases. The last quote I found that frightened me was “The boat was found on shore the next day, empty but for the journal. On those pages were her frantic jottings, all written in her distinctive handwriting, all but the last page.” I found this quote very scary because the boat was empty (so she died) and when she was alive she was writing very fast, so she was scared or flustered which means there was something freaky. In all Dave Eggers aced it if he was trying to make the setting as scary and frightening as possible. 


Tuesday, January 12, 2016

My Bad Evidence Piece

      Have you ever wondered what the strongest bone in your body is and what it is shaped like? In my science class we did a lab to answer the question, “How do you build the strongest bone structure?”. We were aloud to have one piece of 8.5 by 11 inch paper and two inches of tape for each bone we made. Our bones had to be eight inches or longer because we were making long bones. So we couldn't really cut the paper if it was going the 8.5 inch way. According to my data the strongest bone most people made was going the 8.5 inch way, and was circular and was about ¾ inch wide. It turns out my hypothesis was kind of correct because the bones I made were wrapped around more than once, but they didn't hold that many books. Then Cole made one that was tightly wrapped and it held 38 books. In this experiment the place I most likely made a mistake was using only two inches of tape because I would just rip off a little that looked around two inches. Minus that mistake, I learned so much about bones and how to build them, even though I wasn’t Jaiming whose bone held so many books that it broke the whiteboard I still had a lot of fun. 

Thursday, January 7, 2016

My Voice Paragraph

      The pieces I choose definitely showed my improvement in voice. An example is on my first peice  I didn't use and writing techniques when I could have said something like "I could smell the fame, it smelt good like a fresh batch of waffles just coming off the iron." On my second peice I used a lot of  writing techniques and it sounded way better. An example is "my stomach had that nasty puking feeling." In all that is why I choose both of these peices to show my improvement.

My Bad Voice Peice

      Did you know Harrison is famous for being in One Direction. He joined because he thought he would be a great singer, and I know him!!!! He isn’t the best on stage but he is great at being my friend. One time he brought me on stage and I song Baby by Justin Bieber. It was awesome and Harrison’s was doing all these dance move and his pants ripped so he left and the stage was mine it was amazing. I stood there not knowing what to do, so I said a joke and everybody laughed at at me so, I said another and another until Harry comes back on stage and sings. I got off stage by falling backwards, the crowd caught me and carried me around. Then disaster struck, LeBron James shows up all the crowd drops me and run to him. So I lie on the cold hard ground!

My Good Voice Piece

      My nose was only smelling smoke, my eyes were watering and and my stomach had that nasty puking feeling. The mist was hovering over the water, the old rusty car just barely poking up over the lily pads and swaddling grass. The ruckus of the nuclear power plant just coming out of the fog. Lying there in the middle of the swap was a half submerged oil barrel. I wondered why people would do such a thing? What had happened to our pretty earth?